Saturday, August 29, 2009

The Bridge

When youre weary, feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all;
Im on your side. when times get rough
And friends just cant be found,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.

This morning I needed some perspective. So I popped in the dvd of, "The Pursuit of Happyness" - desperate to be reminded of the brokenness that drowns our entire planet... not just in my own head and heart. I needed to be reminded of how truly blessed I am. I needed to be reminded my own heartaches don't measure up to the sufferings of no work, no food and no place to lay your head.

Toward the end of the movie, when everything that could go wrong does, Chris Gardner gives blood to buy food for his little boy while the soft music of "Bridge Over Troubled Waters" plays in the background. I watched in amazement how the love of a parent will make such a significant sacrifice. As tears filled my eyes because of the reality of this story - I was reminded of other blood that was given to heal my own disparities, my own heartaches, my own needs.

I listened to the song intently - suddenly seeing a picture of Christ giving all He had to those in need - whether it was physical or emotional - He poured out Himself so that we might find what we need in His sacrifice, His blood.

We are separated from the One True Need our hearts so long for - and Christ laid Himself down, as a bridge over troubled waters, so that we might get to the other side.

This season has been rough. It has been my first independent step of faith, and to be completely honest, it has taken everything I have not to buckle under the pressure, the stress and the disappointments. Out here I see who I really am, without the distractions of friends, family and activities - I see what I treasure, I see what I don't - and I'm not proud of the results.

A new place is a difficult thing. If you've ever moved, you know this truth. I have left the oh so safe environment of my home, my family and my friends. I have come to a new place where nothing of familiarity can be found, and it's just me; me trying to understand the plan of my Divine Father.

I am wading in 'troubled waters' right now. Not wanting to give into the lies of the enemy: "you are forgotten, you are alone and your dreams will never come true." But humbly I admit, instead of crying out to my Father, so often I turn to the television and ignore the reality that is around me.... but I can't anymore.

And now I am ready. I am ready to swim to shore, and instead of 'plunging into' the troubled waters - I'll take the Bridge. I'll believe He is enough, I'll find my strength in Him alone and He will lead me to the other side.

I know you are wading in troubled waters today, I know you are because we all are. My prayer is these words will inspire you to take the Bridge too... don't try to do this yourself, because you can't. Choose to believe together that Christ in enough; His yoke is easy, His burden light, He is our Bridge over troubled waters, and He's sailing right behind.

Sail on silvergirl,
Sail on by.
Your time has come to shine.
All your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine.
If you need a friend
Im sailing right behind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.

Below is a video I created of my friends and family - playing "Bridge Over Troubled Waters".

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

... He cheers each winding path I tread...

These past six months have been difficult. I completed graduate school only to fly from one end of the country to the other in hopes of getting to those “high places” I so often long for and dream of.

A few weeks ago I received a random phone call from an east Texas aunt, informing me of a social work position open in Texarkana. Because the pay was good, and benefits even better, she urged me to just apply… stating, “you never know what God wants Holls.” “Fine,” I rebuttled, “I’ll apply.”

Two hours later an interview is scheduled. Four day later an offer is made. Five days later I’m on a plane to Orlando, Florida. And six days later I know this is what God is giving.

When I wrote the note that God does things “beyond all we can ask or imagine,” I meant it and am a living testament to it today. I NEVER imagined this is what He would ask of me… but in His grace, I’ve seen His movement, and as a child I obey and move forward.

So my friends… I’m moving to Texarkana. I joke that it is “the place we don’t speak of” or “exile,” but deep in my heart I know this is what Christ is calling me to. I have NO IDEA why, but I go. The position is wonderful, my employers are Jesus lovers and I am spreading my wings. The Lord knew He wanted me to move forward in adulthood and professionalism, not backward into an internship or unrelated position.

I kicked and screamed for months because I truly wanted to go to DC and/or south California, but for whatever reason, He doesn’t want me there. He wants me in the pasture with the cows. So I go in great expectation that my faith will be tried, my mind will be stretched and my love will be used.

I’m most excited for this opportunity because I’m going alone. No one is going with me; no one is following me. I’m taking this step of faith into the wonderful promise that our God protects, provides and sanctifies wherever life may land us. I get to put His word to the test, and expect fully that every single need will be filled and those that aren’t will result in the opportunity to know the everlasting love of an incomprehensible Creator.

So, I say goodbye singing: “all the way my Savior leads me.”